


your true colors

by peachsneakers



Series: fluffuary [12]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Fluffuary, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, a dollop of angst, dlamp - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22690267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Deceit has a wish.(set in the same universe as"outside, looking in")
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton/Deceit Sanders
Series: fluffuary [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620391
Comments: 19
Kudos: 170





	your true colors

Deceit _wants_.

He knows it's stupid. The others would never want someone like- well, someone like _him_. They tolerate him now and he can be grateful for that, even if he knows that it's only to keep Thomas functioning on an even keel. He's never tried to duck out (his self preservation is too well ingrained), but he knows that if he did, they'd likely only go after him because of Thomas.

He doesn't think they're _lying_ about accepting him now, he'd know if they were, but well, it's pretty clear, isn't it? He's _Deceit_. He's not the same kind of part of Thomas's personality, not like the others. Logic and Creativity and Morality. Even Anxiety. Thomas _needs_ them. It's a shame, he thinks sometimes, that he's still required, too.

And now the others are _together_. Even Virgil, and that's a unique kind of hurt, exquisitely sharp. He can't count the number of times he's walked in on them all snuggling on the couch or kissing in the kitchen or murmuring sweet nothings in the hallways. Not even the bathroom is safe, as he discovered one memorable day when he just wanted to brush his teeth and instead got a firsthand glance at Roman inhaling Patton's mouth. He doesn't think they even noticed he was there. They always invite him to cuddle, too, always encourage him to come to movie nights, to eat meals with them, but he can take a hint. He'll be nothing more than a fifth wheel and he can't stand that, not when his own feelings tighten his throat and cramp his stomach. Not when he can't even lie to _himself_ anymore about just how he feels.

Which brings him to now. He sighs, curling up tighter under his heap of blankets and trying to pretend they're warm enough to chase away the chill. Even Remus has gone to this movie night (although Deceit is terribly afraid he's done it in the buff again). He couldn't force himself to if he tried. His stomach churns with nausea at even the thought of seeing them all laughing and sharing those tiny, sweet moments that only lovers can. That he will never, ever be privy to, no matter how hard he tries.

And he's supposed to just _accept_ it, he reflects gloomily, yanking his gloves off and throwing them across the room. The scales meandering across his flesh seem to mock him. Yet another reason no one would want to be with him. He used to like his scales, before the others took to treating him like something monstrous. _Creepy snake face_ still finds its way into his self-deprecating thoughts, no matter how many times Roman's apologized for it. Apologies don't mean much in the dead of night, when your tear tracks have frozen on your face and it feels like nothing can fill the sudden hollow in your middle.

Deceit sighs, pulling out his phone to check the time. With any luck, the movie night will break up soon or they'll go to sleep, and he can slip down to the kitchen for some food. He only picked at dinner, his nerves too high strung for anything else (and besides, pleading off with ill health always makes for a handy excuse), and he has to admit that he's a little hungry now.

He stands up, ready to peer down the hallway and do a touch of reconnaissance, when a timid knock sounds on the door.

"Who is it?" He calls, careful to keep a fretful touch in his tone.

"Logan," comes the answer. "I wanted to check on you and see if you were still feeling unwell."

"I'm fine," Deceit says immediately, before wincing. Well, that was a stupid thing to say. No matter which way Logan ended up taking it, he knows that he won't like it.

"Deceit, I would like to check on you," Logan warns. Before Deceit can jump back into bed, the door clicks open and Deceit is caught red-handed in front of the door, his feet clad only in socks, his hair rumpled, and his gloves missing. He draws himself up imperiously, painfully aware that Logan is taller than he is.

"As you can see, there is no need to worry," Deceit says briskly. "I am feeling much better. Oodles better, in fact." Logan regards him, skeptical.

"I have a hard time believing you," he says. "And this is only the last link in what I sense is a much longer pattern. Roman is the one who did this last time, but I believe I am 'up for the task,' as it were."

"What task?" Deceit asks, alarmed, just as Logan scoops him up, bridal style, in his arms.

"I apologize for not asking permission," Logan says, as he carries Deceit out of his room. "Is this all right?"

"I-" Deceit pauses. He feels strangely...content in Logan's arms. He tries not to dwell on it too much. He isn't sure what he's talking about regarding Roman, but perhaps Logan thinks this is what one does with invalids. And he can't deny that he prefers it up here, instead of braving the cold floor.

The others are sprawled out in the living room when Logan enters, the television on low. Remus is draped across the top of the sofa, mercifully in his pajama bottoms.

"Dee Dee!" He exclaims, drawing the others' attention. "Ooh," Remus says, his eyes widening. "Dream come true, is it, Dee Dee?"

"Of course not," he hisses, cursing the flush spreading across his human side. Now they would ask questions, they would mock, they would-

"Sit here, Dee?" Virgil asks, patting the sofa cushion next to him. Deceit blinks in surprise. "Is he okay, Lo?"

"According to him, he is," Logan says, with a slight frown as he sets Deceit on the sofa. Deceit has to bite back a whine of discontent at the lack of contact. "I find it difficult to believe. It has only been a few hours."

"Rest does me a world of good," Deceit says, straight-faced.

"We wanted to talk to you about something, anyway," Virgil says. Deceit's eyes widen as Virgil goes on, hasty. "Not a bad thing, you aren't in trouble. It's just, well."

"Go on," Patton encourages.

"You're kinda acting the way I used to, so I just wondered if um, maybe you wanna be with us?" Virgil asks, all in a rush. Deceit's mouth sags open in shock.

"It's all right if you don't," Patton assures him. "But even if you don't, I hope you know that we enjoy you being around! You don't have to hide out in your room or miss meals, Deceit. I promise." He smiles, and it's tinged with sadness.

"Does that mean..." Deceit trails off, unable to articulate it. Roman grins.

"That we like you, dearest Fibber on the Roof? It does indeed," he says, with a broad flourish. "If you'll have us, that is."

"Yes," Deceit says, not even thinking about it. "Yes, I- I would."

He suddenly finds himself with a lapful of grinning Remus, driving the breath from his lungs.

"I knew it," Remus says smugly. Deceit rolls his eyes.

"You are impossible," he says.

"So are we," Virgil says cheerfully. "You get used to it."

Deceit smiles.


End file.
